Hang the DJ

Population Control: Purging via Zombies

Overpopulation is an inevitable crisis that people will slowly wake up to in Britain – the dawn of a new age of problems. Crestfallen, we know government are incapable of dealing with the current ones, the simpler ones; an escalation of explicit stupidity that has no hope of lessening in the future. Small wonder that UFO reports have dwindled then over the course of history, and I find myself almost envying abductees. Extraterrestrials realised contact was futile. Their verdict: a bunch of vapid Earthlings unworthy of their observations. But before I accidentally stray into existentialism, lament the human race and begin philosophical musings against a backdrop of science fiction, lets circle back to the focal point of this entry.

Overpopulation is impossible to quell. People will just keep spreading. Singapore is currently the most overpopulated, with the UK coming at 17th. But it will rise, and you can see this happening all the time even if you don’t stop and actively acknowledge it. I’m aware of it when journeying to and from university, or when slaving away at work. Roads are packed, motorways are congested, and supermarkets are cluttered. Everywhere is just bloated with vehicles and people. It’s annoying and restricting; a trend that will continue before worsening. And it will worsen by design. Nature will find a way to restore equilibrium. History has proved that. So let’s rebel against structure – against normalcy – for a minute.

I present the solution of a fantastical nature. A deadly plague would suffice, but this is more entertaining. Entirely fictitious, rooted in implausibility, and heavily flawed for the long-term. Yet, it’s still amusing to conjure scenarios, estimate the outcome and then gauge a success rate, not to mention anyone you dislike falling victim.

Zombies!

Yes, the flesh-tearing, undiscriminating undead, rising up and eradicating the living. The George A. Romero variety: slow and cumbersome, swarming in hordes, and perpetually hungry. The world succumbs to this frightening, voiceless evil, and the green of life runs red with death. Those who’ve mastered Dead Rising’s weapon combinations may have an advantage, but ultimately, the smart, the considerate, and the lucky survive while the inept, the arrogant, and the overeager perish – an adequate result.

Ignore the questions it raises like how to exterminate the undead after a satisfactory – and hypothetical – population target is reached or, how to restart society afresh while the population continues to diminish (all uncontrollable factors) and someone strives for a cure. Ignore the human extinction risk and celebrate amid the apocalypse (with those who made it), try and be a considerate looter as much as a miscellaneous item expert (remember lots of tape), and make new friends accordingly (play nice).

Evidently good, gory fun to a fault. Particularly if the building you’ve holed up in soon becomes more isolating than accommodating. Waiting out the undead is failing. Food sources run out, there’s no one left to eat, and the threat of your safe haven becoming your grave becomes a conceivable horror amidst fallen comrades and involuntary sacrifices.

Reset.

Those searching for something thought-provoking or insightful but were treated to an aimless reverie, I should have warned about checking expectations at the outset. Lastly, the title ‘Hang the DJ’ was deliberately chosen for interesting meanings.

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