“There is a place in time where dreams and reality collide.”The Minds Journal
If you could return to the past, would you? I’m only 26, but I miss the old days. When the only concerns were homework and the next school week. When I could just lose hours and hours playing video games until a headache forced a break. When family members were more than photographs eliciting happy memories.
When life was better.
But now I’m awake, and the world is clear. Seeing and understanding the world is not a blessing – it’s a curse. Consciousness is an affliction. You see the world for what it is, not what a multitude of images tricked you into expecting. It’s a rotating mixture of the beautiful and the ugly, the inspirational and depressing, of glory and defeat. The illusion of what you imagined against the reality you are faced is no easy acceptance. Nostalgia vs. the present has a glaringly obvious winner.
I find gaming is a rare luxury these days. Waking hours are spent completing assignments for various units at university, slaving away at work in a vexatious environment, or contemplating the future and outcomes yet to be known. School never taught the basics of life because it was insistent on injecting worthless content between my ears or partaking in negligible activities that incite rebellion more than cooperation. The laughable thing is, I miss those days now. I will the option to return; a pathway through time that hasn’t collapsed.
Unfortunately, life isn’t like a video game. You can’t load up a save and return to a previous point if you make a mistake or miss a chance. You have to stomach regret, not lament it. Your decisions are final, your destiny written.
On a clear night, I like to stare up at the stars; a view uncorrupted, peaceful, stunning. Electrifying my imagination, the yearning to be out there, exploring and learning the secrets of other worlds and solar systems aching to be known. I was born in the wrong era for such grand pioneering. Interstellar travel is centuries away, and those dreams of escape and discovery fade with me.
Themes of the metaphysical, the existential, and the philosophical are easy for me to tap into. I believe loneliness can give people a different outlook on the world. The ability to see beyond the design of everything and probe the structure; to peel back the façade while others remain unaware or nonchalant to such thoughts. Probably why I enjoy thought-provoking science fiction and fantastical tales of alternate history, and a major contributor for my desire to write. To put my ideas into stories, embed characters with my feelings, and add my version of justice for good measure. To add a semblance of hope that innately drives me on.
I miss the past, but I know I’ll miss the future more.